Daily Devotions - Thursday, June 19

How can I help?

“So these three men stopped answering Job,
because he was righteous in his own eyes.
But Elihu, son of Barakel, became very angry with Job
for justifying himself rather than God.”
--From the story of Job, chapter 32

The story of Job in the sacred writings of Scripture is a great story! It is a story of a person who loses everything and a story of friends who try to offer help. We’ve picked up the story at the point where Job’s friends are really ticked off. They have been trying to offer insights to help Job understand his grief from their belief system about God. This old story could have happened yesterday. This old story could happen tomorrow. There is a book we have in the chaplaincy library, How Can I Help?, written by a good friend of mine. Jim Miller offers 12 things that we can do when someone we know suffers a loss. Think about this list when you have friends that are dealing with losses:

1. Acknowledge what has happened.
2. Listen. Listen. Listen.
3. Respond in your own authentic way; avoid using clichés.
4. Accept the other as he or she is.
5. Offer to help, and make your offers specific.
6. Allow the other her or his privacy.
7. Relate to the other as a whole person.
8. Trust the other to lead you.
9. Radiate genuine hope.
10. Carry the other in your heart and soul.
11. Journey with the other in the search for meaning.
12. Open yourself to what this experience holds just for you.

Following these guidelines is challenging, but rewarding. Jim concludes with this observation: “It’s likely you’ll become not just wiser but gentler, not just more forgiving but more loving. Ultimately, you’ll become not just a better listener but a better friend, not just a better caregiver but a better human being. And that’s not a bad trade-off.”

--Ben Keckler
06.19.08